Dear Loved Ones Who Have Voted For President Trump

Dear Loved Ones Who Have Voted For President Trump, 

I am writing this letter to you because it would be inadequate to address the horrific acts of violence being committed by federal agents across this country without first speaking to what’s continued for far too long in my own home. 

Among you are subgroups: Those who have voted for Trump since 2016 and stand by his actions, and those who have regretted their past support of him, but continue to vote for his enablers. Whatever camp you fall into, I hope this message reaches you. 

I’ve been thinking more and more about you over the last several weeks, particularly after the release of each new video or photo of a harmless child being used as bait, or an American citizen being killed by their own government. Each time this happens, I wonder, “What do my relatives who voted for Trump think of this?” 

This question comes to mind every time because the cruelty on display when federal officers fire pepper spray and bullets at unarmed protestors within close range does not align with how you raised me. These acts, and many more, don’t correspond with the values you instilled in me, the lessons you taught me, and the behaviors you modeled for me. 

Since 2015, when the former reality TV star descended that infamous golden escalator, I’ve kept my mouth shut. At first, I justified my silence with the fact that I wasn’t an eligible voter until after the 2020 election. But I

can’t use that excuse anymore, and I shouldn't have even before my 18th birthday. For too many Thanksgivings, and Christmases, and Fourth of July’s, I’ve kept quiet. I’ve let too many demeaning, careless, and irrational comments slide. I’ve been too worried about “ruining the holiday” with a political conversation. But now look where we are. Keeping the peace in my own house didn’t prevent a rupture in someone else’s. 

So I wrote this letter because I can’t let the dissonance between who I force myself to believe you truly are and your political behavior continue to roil in my head. My hope is not to make you feel ashamed or guilty about what’s transpiring. My hope is that you’ll reflect and try to reconcile the values, morals, lessons, and behaviors you instilled in me with the political rhetoric, behaviors, and beliefs you now perpetuate or tolerate. 

You raised me as a Christian. Although my faith in a higher power has faded, your religiosity remains a core part of your identity. Admittedly, I haven’t set foot in a Bible study in years. But I know that God hasn’t published a new volume of the holy book, which means all the parables calling on us to welcome the stranger, feed the hungry, heal the sick, and to love our neighbors are still in there. I also know that Jesus never asked for proof of legal status, employment, insurance, or a definitive gender identity before caring for others. Out of genuine curiosity, how much influence do these parts of scripture have on the way you vote and view what’s happened over the last 11 years? If not these biblical messages, which ones do appeal to your ideology and why?

When toddlers are ripped from their parents and transported thousands of miles away to inhumane detention centers, I don’t see Christ. When working families struggling to eat have their food assistance taken away from them, I don’t see Christ. When the sick are denied care because their government deems them undeserving of public insurance, I don’t see Christ. When a small subset of the population, many of whom I call friends, are demonized for who they love and how they identify, I don’t see Christ. What I see is a country exercising misplaced anger and frustration against marginalized people, the very people scripture calls on us to embrace. Where in all of this do you see Christ? 

You raised me to be an independent thinker. To research a subject for myself, evaluate sources for their credibility, and formulate my own opinions. These skills carried me through college and now into my career. It pains me to hear the same people who taught me this valuable life skill absorb and repeat the lies told on Fox News–a self-identified entertainment company—without pausing to question the validity, truthfulness, and motive of their claims. Have you ever noticed that lawfully permitted protestors holding signs that read “justice for all” are cast as “paid agitators,” and “violent mobs,” while the crowd that stormed the United States Capitol and killed police officers in hopes of preventing the certification of an election are hailed as patriots? When these stories appear on your screen, does the contradiction ever cross your mind, or do you simply accept whatever Jesse Waters says? I wish for the former, but I know the latter is true. 

You raised me to embrace diversity and care deeply for the marginalized. You sent your children to one of the most racially diverse and socioeconomically underprivileged school districts in the state, and proudly sported the school shirts of the same district their children attend(ed). Growing up in this environment instilled in me the values of empathy, compassion, and equity, and affirmed for me that you carried those same values. But when you vote for lawmakers who downplay the severity of school shootings, divert public dollars into the pockets of wealthy households who enroll their children in private schools, and imply that families who qualify for free school meals are somehow defrauding the government, my belief in your sensitivity to the less fortunate wavers. I had classmates who died because of gun violence. My teachers paid for essential school supplies out of their pockets so that the wealthiest families could get a discount on their tuition statements. I had friends who depended on Poptarts generously distributed by teachers to meet their nutritional needs. These consequences of policy decisions made by people you support make it harder for me to see the sincerity of your compassion. 

You raised me to follow the rules and accept the results of a fair game. Like most children, I’d try to change the rules of a game to my advantage. In Scrabble, I’d passionately defend my made-up words, even after we checked the dictionary. When falling behind in a game of driveway basketball, I’d occasionally inflate my score to close the gap. When I was a toddler, you understandably tolerated these antics but gradually began enforcing the rules to full effect and emphasizing the importance of following them. The legitimacy of a game, I learned, relied on the fair enforcement of rules, the perception of such by all involved parties, and universal acceptance of the outcome. And to dispel any antipathy between ‘teams,’ handshakes and an exchange of congratulations were a classy touch. Even after the most heartbreaking of soccer games against an aggravating opponent, you told me to hold my head high, look the opposing team in the eyes, give them a high-five, and utter the words “good game.” 

As a young adult, I grew to realize that many of these post-game rituals are practiced to maintain civility and mutual respect. I also grew to realize that similar rituals apply to more consequential games, such as elections, for the same reasons. Trump unwound this essential norm in 2016, despite winning the election and becoming the president, and continues to discredit the results of his first two presidential contests. What’s ensued are historic levels of distrust in election results and between relatives, like us. The most baffling parts about all of this are that the electoral process has not changed and that you easily accepted the results of all pre-2016 elections, even when your candidate lost. It wasn’t until Trump blew up the sacred ritual of conceding defeat that you doubted electoral outcomes. Why did it take only one man with remarkable insecurities about his own popularity for you to abandon everything you taught me about playing fair? 

You raised me to be an American. You gifted me countless history books retelling the heroic stories of Americans who loved their country so much that they were willing to die to make it better. We watched documentaries together about this country’s gravest mistakes and greatest triumphs in the social, political, and economic realms. Most importantly, you taught me to love the Constitution and defend the ideals it espouses. Tragically, the very document that attracted our ancestors to this country and inspired them to defend its principles on the Western Front is being torn to shreds. Every time federal officers extrajudiciously invade the privacy of a home without a warrant, sweep a person off the street and fly them to a detention center, or kill a protestor, they are acting as judge, jury, and executioner, and violating the First, Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, Eighth, and Fourteenth amendments. 

I don’t want to take away from the gravity of Renee Good’s and Alex Pretti’s murders at the hands of ICE officers. But how would you react if I were in their shoes? The Trump Administration and its sycophants at Fox News are employing propagandist tactics to cover up the real reason for Renee’s and Alex’s deaths: They were standing up for the Constitution and the rule of law. I’m prepared to do the same. If I became another victim of this administration’s attack on law-abiding protestors, who would you blame? 

The nation is in disarray. The eye-catching chaos can only end when Trump is deprived of his power. Congress and the Supreme Court have already abdicated their power to him. Fortunately, however, all power is inherent in the people. A majority of Americans disapprove of Trump’s performance. But the source of his strength has always been the approval of his outnumbered, unshakable base. Once that base starts to crumble, so will Trump. 

For those of you who stand by everything Trump does, I plead with you to take what I’ve said and reflect. Reflect on what you’ve taught me and try to reconcile this with how you’ve rationalized, excused, and downplayed every disgraceful act committed by Trump and his administrations. If you give this a wholehearted effort, I believe you’ll identify many contradictions with how you view yourself and who I know you truly are.

For those of you who stopped voting for Trump, it would seem that you’ve realized the error of previously supporting him. Unless you voted straight Republican on the rest of the ballot. Speaker Mike Johnson, Majority Leader John Thune, their congressional colleagues, and the majority of Republicans in state and local offices are active, willing, or complacent participants in this democratic backsliding. I know that you’re lifelong Republicans and that voting for a Democrat is nearly impossible to fathom. But we need a Congress, Governors, and state legislatures that understand the duties of their Constitutional oaths and will live up to them. The Democratic party is far from perfect–and I say that as a member myself–but it's the only viable party at this time that’s shown any propensity to stand up to Trump. 

Your voting record cannot be changed. But the 2026 election is our opportunity to correct the perilous trajectory of the nation. I hope you’ll seize this chance. 

I’m immensely proud of and grateful for how you raised me. Nevertheless, I can’t avoid the reality that I don’t recognize some of the people I call family any longer. May this letter be a first step in a healing journey and a return to civility in our family and our country. 

With Love, 

Kelm Lear 

Your Family and a Fellow American